If you are a manager, you know the feeling. You create a perfect plan that is logical, safe, and efficient—and your team absolutely hates it.
Dealing with this pushback is one of the most common challenges in change management. Interestingly, I learned my most valuable lesson about this not in a boardroom or a corporate training course, but at 4:30 PM on a Wednesday while watching my toddler ride a pink bicycle.
The Scene: A Wednesday Afternoon Leadership Crisis
The Head of Negotiations (my 2-year-old son) decided he wanted to ride the Assistant Manager’s (his older sister’s) pink bike. He didn’t care about the color; he only cared about transporting his “team”—a squad of toy police cars and support vehicles.
He immediately placed all three cars on the front part of the bike. As a dad and the unofficial Safety Officer of this household, I saw the risk instantly. Cars near the wheel equal a guaranteed crash. So, I did what any logical manager would do: I intervened.
Falling into the Classic Management Traps
My first instinct was the classic managerial takeover. I reached down and removed the cars without explanation or discussion.
My logic was simple: This is unsafe, and I know better. His reaction was instant tears. He refused to pedal and looked at me like I had just canceled his annual bonus.
When people resist change, it usually isn’t because they are difficult; they resist because the change was done to them, not with them.
Trying to recover, I attempted a logical compromise. I picked up the cars and placed them carefully on the back seat of the bike. I explained that the back seat was flat, safe, and had plenty of room.
My data was 100% correct, and it mattered 0%. He still refused to pedal. In his mind, my logical solution had completely broken his system.
In under thirty seconds, I had made three classic management errors. I relied on a “surprise” rollout without asking for input. I tried to use logic to solve an emotional reaction. And worst of all, I was solving the wrong problem entirely.
Understanding the “Why” Behind the Resistance
I stopped, took a breath, and asked myself what he actually needed. That is when it clicked.
He is the Police Chief. He needs to be visible to his officers at all times. If the police cars are behind him on the back seat, they are gone from his world. Out of sight means out of command.
His entire sense of leadership depended on visual control. He didn’t need a safer location; he needed to feel in control of his team.
I stopped trying to be right. I picked up his cars and placed them securely in the front basket—right where he could see them and feel in command. He stopped crying immediately, gripped the handlebars, and started pedaling happily.
The problem wasn’t the location of the cars; the problem was that I had never asked what he needed in the first place.
The “Police Cars” in Your Office
It is easy to laugh at a toddler, but adults do the exact same thing when we roll out new software or processes. Most employees don’t resist the change itself. They resist the feeling of losing control, visibility, or identity in the new system.
Take a standard cloud migration, for example. A manager moves all local desktop files to a secure cloud server because it is safer and more efficient. The employee immediately panics because their “Quarterly Reports” folder is no longer visible on their desktop. They feel slow and disconnected from their data.
Instead of arguing about server security, a good manager asks, “What do you need to feel in control?” When the employee says they need to see their files immediately upon logging in, the manager helps them create desktop shortcuts pointing to the cloud. Safety is maintained, and control is restored.
4 Practical Tips for Getting Employee Buy-In
Whether you are rolling out new software or reorganizing a team, here is how to apply this toddler-tested change management model:
- Ask Before You Act: Before you move a tool or a responsibility, ask your team what they need from it. The “best” solution is rarely what the user actually needs.
- Understand the Fear: When someone resists, don’t label them as difficult. Ask yourself what they are afraid of losing—Control? Status? Routine?—and address that specific fear.
- Never Remove Without Replacing: If you take something away, offer something equally valuable in return. Change must feel like a gain, not a loss.
- Let Them See Their “Police Cars“: People need to feel in control of their work. Ensure your team can still see what matters to them through dashboards, check-ins, and clear visibility.
The Real Takeaway
My 2-year-old didn’t just teach me a parenting lesson that day; he taught me a leadership lesson. Behind every resistant employee is a person who simply wants to feel seen, heard, and in control of their own work.
The fastest way to get buy-in is not a better argument—it is a better question: “What do you need to feel good about this change?”
Ask that, and then actually listen to the answer.
