For the longest time, 7 PM was the worst part of my day. That’s when the toothbrush came out, and that’s when my toddler turned into a tiny wrestling champion.
You probably know this scene. Your kid sees the toothbrush coming and suddenly acts like you’re trying to feed them poison. Mouth clamped shut. Head whipping from side to side. Sometimes screaming. Always exhausting.
I tried everything I could think of. Different flavored toothpaste. Singing silly songs. Even straight-up bribery with stickers. Nothing worked longer than a day or two.
Then one random evening, I spotted his favorite stuffed poodle sitting in the toy corner, and something clicked in my brain.
Why Do Toddlers Hate Brushing Their Teeth?
Before I get into what actually worked, I had to figure out why my son was fighting me so hard. He wasn’t trying to be difficult on purpose. Something about toothbrushing just freaked him out.
Here’s what I realized was going on in his little head:
- It feels weird and invasive. Think about it from their perspective. You’re a giant human coming at them with a plastic stick, trying to shove it in their mouth. That would make anyone nervous, especially a two-year-old who doesn’t totally understand what’s happening.
- They have zero control. Toddlers are in this phase where they want to do everything “by myself!” When we pin them down and brush their teeth for them, it goes against everything they’re trying to learn about independence.
- It’s boring as heck. Standing still for two whole minutes? That’s like an eternity when you’re two. They’d rather be running around, climbing on furniture, or literally doing anything else.
Once I understood this, I stopped trying to be a dentist and started trying to be a playmate instead.
How to Help a Toddler Who Hates Brushing Teeth (The Stuffed Animal Trick)
So here’s what I did differently. Instead of making my son the victim of the toothbrush, I made him the boss of it.
I grabbed his stuffed poodle and said, “Oh no! Dolly ate cookies all day, and her teeth are super dirty! Can you help clean them?”
His whole mood changed immediately. The crying stopped. He actually reached for the toothbrush. Suddenly, this wasn’t something scary happening to him. It was a job he got to do.
That was six months ago, and this trick still works almost every night.
How to Brush Toddlers’ Teeth When They Refuse (Step-by-Step)
If you’re dealing with a toddler brushing teeth struggle every single night, here’s exactly what to do. This brushing teeth activity turns the whole thing into a game.
Step 1: You Don’t Even Have to Start in the Bathroom
Sometimes we start playing ‘dentist’ on his bed or in the play corner to help him relax, then move on to the sink later.
Grab their favorite stuffed animal, action figure, or doll. We use a pink poodle (as shown in the pictures), but honestly, any toy will work. The key is picking something your kid actually cares about.
Step 2: Let Them Be the Dentist First
This is the most important part. Hand the toothbrush to your toddler and ask them to clean the toy’s teeth (or nose, or ears, or whatever they want to scrub).
Step 3: The “My Turn, Your Turn” Switch
Once your kid is feeling proud and happy about cleaning their toy, that’s when you make your move.
Say something like, “Wow! Dolly’s teeth are so sparkly now! Should we make your teeth sparkly too?”
I let him chew on the bristles for a bit so he feels like he’s in control, then I gently take over to get his back teeth properly cleaned.
Best Toothpastes for Picky Toddlers (That They Won’t Spit Out)
One thing I learned the hard way is that the flavor of the toothpaste matters just as much as the technique. If your toddler thinks the toothpaste is “spicy” (which is toddler code for “minty”), they are going to clamp their mouth shut no matter how many stuffed animals you have.
After testing what felt like a hundred different brands, here are the ones that actually passed the toddler taste test in our house.
1. Hello Watermelon Fluoride-Free Toothpaste
If your kid hates mint, this is a game-changer. It genuinely smells like a watermelon Jolly Rancher.
- Why kids love it: It has zero “burn.” It’s sweet, fruity, and clear (so no messy blue stains on their pajamas).
- Why parents love it: It’s free from dyes and artificial sweeteners. We started with the fluoride-free version when he was still swallowing everything, and switched to the fluoride version once he learned to spit.
2. Tom’s of Maine “Silly Strawberry.”
This is a classic for a reason. It’s the first toothpaste many dentists recommend because it’s widely available and natural.
- The Taste: It’s a very mild strawberry flavor. It’s not as “candy-sweet” as the Hello brand, which is good if you don’t want them trying to eat the tube.
- Texture: It’s a paste, not a gel. Some kids (like mine) prefer the smooth texture of a gel, but if your kid dislikes the “slime” feeling of gels, this is the one to get.
3. Burt’s Bees Fruit Fusion
Burt’s Bees does a great job of making a flavor that tastes like real fruit rather than fake chemicals.
- Why it works: It’s incredibly gentle. If your toddler has sensitive gums or just hates strong flavors, this is probably the mildest option on the list.
A Note on Fluoride vs. Fluoride-Free
This was a huge stress for me. Should I use fluoride? Is it safe if they swallow it?
The general advice from our pediatric dentist was:
- Under 2 Years (or until they can spit): You can use a “grain of rice” amount of fluoride toothpaste, OR stick to fluoride-free if you are worried about them eating it like a snack.
- Age 3+: You definitely want fluoride to protect those teeth, but keep it to a “pea-sized” amount.
Always ask your own dentist, but swapping to a fruit flavor was the second biggest thing that helped us after the poodle trick.
What Dentists Actually Say About Toddler Teeth Brushing
Is this method perfect? No. Does my son sometimes just chew the plastic instead of actually brushing? Absolutely.
But our pediatric dentist told me something that made me relax: “At this age, building the habit matters more than perfect technique.”
If you force it and make them cry, they’ll grow up hating dental care. But if you make it playful and fun, even if they miss some spots, you’re teaching them that taking care of their teeth is normal and not scary.
That perspective shift helped me so much. I stopped stressing about getting every single tooth and started focusing on making the experience positive.
Other Things That Helped (Quick Tips)
Besides the stuffed animal trick, here are a few other things that sometimes help when we’re having a tough night:
- Let them pick the toothbrush. We went to the store, and my son chose a bright pink one (which you can see him holding proudly in the photos above). He was way more excited to use it because he picked it himself.
- Brush together. Sometimes I brush my teeth at the same time. He likes copying what I do, and it makes him feel like a big kid.
- Make up a silly song. We have a dumb little song about brushing away sugar bugs. Is it ridiculous? Yes. Does it work? Also yes.
- Give two choices. Instead of asking “Do you want to brush your teeth?” (which invites a “NO”), I ask “Do you want to brush in the bathroom or the kitchen tonight?” He feels like he has control, but either way, teeth are getting brushed.
What Is the 3-3-3 Rule for Brushing Teeth?
You might have heard about the 3-3-3 rule for dental care. It’s pretty straightforward: brush 3 times a day, for 3 minutes each time, within 3 minutes of eating.
Honestly? That’s a lot to ask from a toddler. If you can get your kid to brush twice a day for even 90 seconds, you’re doing great. Morning and bedtime are the most important times.
Don’t stress yourself out trying to hit some perfect standard. Just focus on making it a regular part of your routine.
The Bottom Line
If bedtime toothbrushing has turned into a battle at your house, stop fighting. Seriously. Grab a stuffed animal and try the role reversal trick tonight.
Let your toddler be the dentist for a minute. Give them that feeling of being in charge. Then, when it’s their turn, they’ll probably be way more willing to cooperate.
My son used to scream the second he saw the toothbrush. Now he runs to grab his poodle when I say it’s tooth brushing time. That’s a huge win in my book.
And honestly? Even if this trick doesn’t work perfectly every single night, at least it turns the routine into something playful instead of stressful. That makes it better for both of you.
Disclaimer: I am a dad sharing what worked for us, not a dentist. Always consult your pediatric dentist regarding fluoride use and your child’s specific needs.
